My Christmas Gift to You!

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab2pos1

I promise you'll get something out of it.

Merry Christmas!

America's Worst Breakfast Foods

I recently came across this list and was in complete disbelief. You have to check it out. Here's a summary:

Worst side dish

Burger King Hash Browns (large)

• 620 calories
• 40 g fat (11 g saturated; 13 g trans)
• 1,200 mg sodium
• 60 g carbs

Calorie equilavent: 12 chicken wings

Worst breakfast sandwich

Hardee's Monster Biscuit

• 710 calories
• 51 g fat (17 g saturated)
• 2,250 mg sodium
• 37 g carbohydrates

Sodium equivalent: Six large orders of french fries

Worst kids' meal

Denny's Big Dipper French Toastix with margarine and syrup

• 770 calories
• 71 g fat (13 g saturated)
• 107 g carbs

Fat Equivalent: 23 chicken McNuggets

Worst pastry

Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll

• 813 calories
• 32 g fat (5 g trans fat)
• 117 g carbs

Calorie equivalent: Seven bowls of Froot Loops

Worst smoothie

Smoothie King Grape Expectations II (40 oz.)

• 1,102 calories
• 256 g sugars
• 740 mg sodium

Sugar equivalent: 12 Haagen Dazs ice cream bars

Worst combo meal

McDonald's Deluxe Breakfast

• 1,360 calories
• 64 g fat (22 g saturated)
• 2,325 mg sodium
• 160 g carbs
• 49 g sugars

Saturated fat equivalent: 22 strips of bacon

Worst omelet

IHOP Big Steak Omelet

• 1,490 calories
• (No additional nutrition information available)

Calorie equivalent: More than seven glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts

And the Winner is...

The worst breakfast in America

Bob Evans Stacked and Stuffed Caramel Banana Pecan Hotcakes

• 1,543 calories
• 77 g fat (26 g saturated; 9 g trans)
• 2,259 mg sodium
• 198 g carbs
• 109 g sugars

Saturated fat equivalent: 26 strips of bacon

Sugar equivalent: 12 chocolate chip cookies

Sodium equivalent: 12 small bags of potato chips

So, there you go. Most unfortunately I quite enjoy the McDonald's Deluxe Breakfast. It's quite a bummer.

Charles Ponzi vs Bernie Madoff

Why exactly is it called a "Ponzi Scheme?" Who was Ponzi? What did he do? All the answers to all your questions about the mastermind of the fraud named after him.

Click here: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/20995

Enjoy!

Countdown!

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Wall Street needs a makeover

I recently got to thinking about the role of Wall Street - asset managers, hedge funds, etc - and whether they really promote society's well being, and whether the field is over saturated today.

I certainly believe that we, as a society, are better off with the likes of Vanguard - low-fee index fund king - who allow the general public to invest at least part of their hard-earned money in stocks, which have shown to be a relatively good investment in the long term. However, I think the glitz and glamor of the industry has now attracted far too many individuals for the wrong reasons - greed and money - and society as a whole is probably worse off as these talented individuals go to Wall Street to - essentially - shuffle a deck of cards, instead of working as engineers to, say, build a better bridge, or come up with a new treatment for an illness, or research better ways to produce energy, etc.

Buying and selling stocks is really not very difficult - you click a button these days. So the question is what do you buy and what do you sell. Some generally ask why, but many do not. Regardless, in today's world, we have an industry in which people make 'careers' out of trying to shuffle around other people's money, and in the process they hope to become ultra wealthy. It's really ludicrous, but understandable if you are really producing something good for society, i.e. returns consistently in excess of the average like Warren Buffett. But, given that over 90% of asset managers cannot even beat the S&P 500, I really don't know why they exist. Moreover, I don't know why people happily give them their dough. Wait, I know - financial illiteracy.

Wall Street has become a gigantic card shuffling machine, where the cards are other people's money. This money has been earned by people who actually 'produce' stuff - tangible and intangible - and contribute to the economy's goods and services. Wall Street, on the other hand, simply tries to catch the wave and hopes that other people (those working at companies like GE, MMM, etc) will be successful at building stuff or providing services, but that they (Wall Street) will be enriched. Hedge funds engage in the most sophisticated form of gambling using options, credit default swaps, and other derivatives that are nothing but a zero-sum game, e.g. for the option buyer to win, the seller must lose. (It is not so with stocks in the long run). Anyway, the whole thing is absolutely absurd and I am not surprised that it is falling apart right in front of our delicate eyes.

Goodbye Madoff

Ah the world of finance - one giant card shuffling machine.

Snippets from the article:

"A Wall Street powerbroker for nearly 50 years who built an influential firm has confessed to a massive fraud scheme that will cost investors at least $50 billion, federal authorities say.

"In 2001, Barron's reported that Madoff's firm was one of the three top market makers in Nasdaq stocks and the third-largest firm matching buyers and sellers of securities on the New York Stock Exchange.

"The criminal complaint signed by FBI Agent Theodore Cacioppi said Madoff told at least three senior employees at his Manhattan apartment Wednesday that the investment adviser business was a fraud and had been insolvent for years, losing at least $50 billion.

"Madoff told the employees he was "finished," that he had "absolutely nothing," that "it's all just one big lie" and it was "basically, a giant Ponzi scheme," according to the complaint filed in court."

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/ExNasdaq-chairman-arrested-on-apf-13815890.html

Having a bad day?

Time marches on...

Peter Schiff was right

America: The Greatest Nation

Insane and freaky.

Pop Corn téléphone portable micro-ondes
Uploaded by sassiere

The Merton Prayer

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

--Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"
(Website found here.)

Credit Crisis: The First Year

From Marketwatch:

Why the change?

In light of the recent bleak macro-economic and political environment, I felt it was best to symbolize my feelings about the world by changing the layout of this page to black. It symbolizes the demise of Bear Stearns, the 20%+ drop in the markets, the record oil prices (oil is black!), and the potential for things to get worse, including - God seriously forbid - another war (with Iran).

Just remember, things always get darkest right before it gets pitch black. So, hang in there.

Hopefully, this will only be a temporary move and we'll be back to happy days again soon. In the meantime, tread carefully!

Gas price stopping you?

From Reuters:

A Nevada brothel is trying to stimulate business by offering free gasoline. ...

"It's rocking along. We're doing quite well. June and July historically are not big months," said [the owner].

Not sure how I should react to this - should I be disturbed about the prostitution aspect, or the fact that we're so easily lured into morally depraving activities? And, students of economics should note that prostitution is a normal and elastic good, at least according to this story.

"Family First" Mortage Corp Irony

As you may know, hundreds of mortgage lenders have had to shut down recently due to the ongoing economic hell / real estate recession.

Here's a voice recording from Family First Mortgage Corp that alerted employees who were terminated. You should listen to it - it's quite horrifying to know that a company will fire you in this manner. (Message courtesy of Implode-O-Meter).

http://ml-implode.com/info/fam-first-orig-message.mp3

So anyway, that's just the dire state of things these days.

Buns and Guns

Would you eat here?

Cool concept, eh?

11 Best Food You Aren't Eating

From the NYTimes:

1. Beets: Think of beets as red spinach, Dr. Bowden said, because they are a rich source of folate as well as natural red pigments that may be cancer fighters.
   How to eat: Fresh, raw and grated to make a salad. Heating decreases the antioxidant power.
2. Cabbage: Loaded with nutrients like sulforaphane, a chemical said to boost cancer-fighting enzymes.
   How to eat: Asian-style slaw or as a crunchy topping on burgers and sandwiches.
3. Swiss chard: A leafy green vegetable packed with carotenoids that protect aging eyes.
   How to eat it: Chop and saute in olive oil.
4. Cinnamon: May help control blood sugar and cholesterol.
   How to eat it: Sprinkle on coffee or oatmeal.
5. Pomegranate juice: Appears to lower blood pressure and loaded with antioxidants.
   How to eat: Just drink it.
6. Dried plums: Okay, so they are really prunes, but they are packed with antioxidants.
   How to eat: Wrapped in prosciutto and baked.
7. Pumpkin seeds: The most nutritious part of the pumpkin and packed with magnesium; high levels of the mineral are associated with lower risk for early death.
   How to eat: Roasted as a snack, or sprinkled on salad.
8. Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.'’ They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins.
   How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.
9. Turmeric: The “superstar of spices,'’ it may have anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties.
   How to eat: Mix with scrambled eggs or in any vegetable dish.
10. Frozen blueberries: Even though freezing can degrade some of the nutrients in fruits and vegetables, frozen blueberries are available year-round and don’t spoil; associated with better memory in animal studies.
    How to eat: Blended with yogurt or chocolate soy milk and sprinkled with crushed almonds.
11. Canned pumpkin: A low-calorie vegetable that is high in fiber and immune-stimulating vitamin A; fills you up on very few calories.
    How to eat: Mix with a little butter, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Any surprises?

Captured Alive

To bring a story that I posted here earlier to a close:

The fugitive hedge fund swindler Samuel Israel III surrendered to law enforcement officials on Wednesday, ending a manhunt that began shortly after he faked his suicide on the day that he was to report to prison.

Source: NYTimes. Continued here.

The man's a fool. He'd probably have gotten a lot less than 20 years had he just served his term. Now, he'll probably be in for at least 20 years. Money isn't the end of it all now, is it?

Madness

Taken from the Washington Post:

The American Family Association obviously didn't foresee the problems that might arise with its strict policy to always replace the word "gay" with "homosexual" on the Web site of its Christian news outlet, OneNewsNow. The group's automated system for changing the forbidden word wound up publishing a story about a world-class sprinter named "Tyson Homosexual" who qualified this week for the Beijing Olympics.

The problem: Tyson's real last name is Gay. Therefore, OneNewsNow's reliable software changed the Associated Press story about Tyson Gay's amazing Olympic qualifying trial to read this way:

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has....

Source: Washington Post. Continued here.

If anyone can please explain why they'd want to replace the word gay with homosexual, I'd really appreciate it.

I'm voting Republican

Midnight's Gone

Artist: Terri Clark
Song Title: Midnight's Gone

We got our first McDonald's
And it made the headline news
In a town where no one locks their doors at night
All the lights are flashing yellow
We just roll right through
And there is not a superstore in sight
But there's more to life
I told myself I'd say good-bye
By the time the clock struck twelve

But I can't pull the trigger on that changing world out there
With all these dreams I can't believe I'm still standing here
It's time to face the fact that I'm not the rebel that I thought
'Cause midnights gone but I'm not

Everyone I run into
Has known me all my life
There are no secrets you can call your own
Since the age of seventeen
I've faced the morning light
Saying this day is the day I'm gonna go
All I have to do is drive away
But the things that make me crazy
Always make me stay

But I can't pull the trigger on that changing world out there
With all these dreams I can't believe I'm still standing here
It's time to face the fact that I'm not the rebel that I thought
'Cause midnights gone but I'm not

It's time to face the fact I'm not the rebel that I thought
'Cause midnights gone, midnights gone
but I'm not

Life Is Good

Artist: Jo Dee Messina
Song Title: Life is Good

I used to think that life was all about the Joneses
Trying to find a way to just keep up some how
I had to have it, do it, be it, had to own it
A little secret that I finally figured out

We spend so much time climbing up the ladder
And then we're missing all the things that really matter

Chorus:
I've got my two feet on the ground
Breathin' in and breathin' out
Oh yeah
Life is good
I'm gonna grab on to today
Live every minute in the way I know I should
Life is good

I like to move, I like to run, I like to get it done
Or I can stay home on the couch and watch tv
Give me sunshine, give me rain, it makes no diffence to me
It's all the same, all the same to me

Call me simple, call me crazy
I believe that it's all in what we make yah

Repeat chorus

Call me simple, call me crazy
I believe that it's all in what we make yeah

"Jesus for President"

People pack churches to hear Shane Claiborne talk about "Jesus for President," the book he co-authored. The dreadlocked Christian activist from Philadelphia and his team parked a black school bus around the back. The hand-painted gold letters on the side read "Jesus for President." The bus runs on vegetable oil and, yes, it's a political statement. "It'll be a long time before we fight a war over used veggie oil," says Claiborne with a sly smile. Claiborne is touring the country, packing churches and community centers, in support of the book he and Chris Haw co-authored, "Jesus for President."

...

Young evangelicals represent an important swing-voting bloc. They're not a lock for Republicans as their parents were. Their feet are firmly planted on issues dear to both parties. Traditional family values are, as they have been in the past, an important issue.

But these voters say views on abortion and homosexuality won't define them in November. The environment and social justice are moving to the forefront of their discussions.

Taken from CNN. Emphasis added.

S&P 1170 Revisited

As many of you know, I'm generally an optimist. Yeah right, you may say to yourself. That's true - recently, I've turned increasingly bearish on the US economy.

Today, there's an article in Bloomberg that only adds more fuel to the fire that's burning our portfolios. The master, Warren Buffett, has spoken. And, he's not optimistic. In fact, "he's concerned about ``stagflation,'' or slowing in the U.S. economy while inflation accelerates," reports Bloomberg. You can access the article here.

Of course, Goldman today downgraded C and GM, just as they hit multi-year lows. C's new target is $11. That's right, $11. Wow. This, by the way, was after they upgraded the financials in March (post-Bear Stearns). So much for the big dogs that get paid muchos deniros. Indeed, f- Wall Street.

Let's take a look at a couple of charts here (thanks to stockcharts.com). No, it's not about technical analysis, it's about psychology this time. And what I see is bad, bad news. I have two charts: the first, is the Volatility Index (VIX) and the second is a S&P 500 ETF (SPY).

The VIX is a gauge of fear. As you can see, as the market has fallen rather precipitously recently, the VIX has not spiked like it did a few months ago as we touched these lows. Indeed, it seems to be true that a slow death is a painless death. We're like frogs in boiling water - we'll be dead before we know it. In addition to this semi-complacency, the S&P keeps breaking through major support levels. The next test is 1270s. If we break this, ladies and gentlemen, 1170 is a possibility. Remember 1170? That's right - I talked about it several months ago.

So, anyway, what I see is disturbing. There's still a lot of hope that the market will recover, while it keeps going down. This is a bad sign. What you want is for market participants to throw in the towel, be filled with fear and run away. They haven't done so yet, which only means that they will... one day. There are way too many oil bears out there, while oil simply keeps going up. We need oil bulls for the oil bubble to pop. Inflation is a concern. Economic growth keeps choking. Election uncertainty looms. All in all, stock some canned food and pray. That will serve you best.

$80.4 million for this...

I'll get back to work now.

US Marshals WANTED List

The Jayhawk's Nest loathes Wall Street thieves. They are vile creatures. Here's one - catch him and I'll buy you dinner.

Bradley Birkenfeld = Idiot

WSJ reports:

A former UBS AG banker pleaded guilty in federal court to helping a billionaire client evade taxes by hiding $200 million in assets in offshore accounts, a move expected to aid federal prosecutors in their probe of the Swiss banking giant.

Bradley Birkenfeld, 43 years old, answered softly when U.S. District Judge William Zloch asked him why he participated in the fraudulent tax scheme. "I was employed by UBS…I was incentivized to do this business," he said, standing, hands clasped behind him, at a podium before the judge.

Why the heck do they do these things!?! To make an extra 100K? I'm willing to bet that Birkenfeld was an extremely well paid and well respected fellow in his community. Now, he'll spend about 5 years in jail and pay at 250K penalty. By the way, I don't really think the monetary penalty is very high for these IBankers. Regardless, I just don't understand this stupidity.

Moral of the story: Dodgy business is dodgy business, no matter what. Stay away from it!

How do you feel?

Some days, we simply need to look to others to express ourselves. Today is such a day!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us. -- Charles Dickens

Doomsday: T minus N

Home price drop means $4 trillion in lost capital

The Risk Nightmare - Trillions in CDS markets, nothing to show for?

We have 25-year old 'super-bubble' - According to George Soros

As for the title, 0 < N < infinity.

I can think of nothing else right now, except:

"Dust thou art, and to dust thou wilt return."

My Partial Oil Solution

I have a partial solution to the volatility of oil prices. As you know, oil is priced in US dollars. Over the past several years, as the USD has gotten hammered, oil has continued its upward trajectory. Many so-called 'experts' agree that oil prices have an inverse relationship with the USD. Clearly, this sort of dependence is rather risky, as we're finding out in the current environment.

My solution - and I'm not sure if it's been suggested before, but I'm guessing that it's certainly not a novel idea - is to price oil using a basket of currencies. In other words, we should price oil as follows: 0.25 USD + 0.25 EUR + 0.25 YEN + 0.25 GBP. I've randomly picked YEN and GBP, but any other major currencies can be used. This also doesn't have to be an equal weighted index, but could use a different methodology. Either way, the point is that we need to reduce the volatility of an extremely important commodity like oil and its dependence on a single currency.

You can even take this further and price all commodities like this to avoid ridiculous rice and wheat riots.

Three Wooden Crosses

Continuing to explore the Purpose theme, Randy Travis makes an excellent point. I love this song.

Three Wooden Crosses by Randy Travis

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico.
One's headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An' two of them were searchin' for lost souls.
That driver never ever saw the stop sign.
An' eighteen wheelers can't stop on a dime.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an' love for growin' things in his young son's heart.
An' that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give 'em all a better start.
An' that preacher whispered: "Can't you see the Promised Land?"
As he laid his blood-stained bible in that hooker's hand.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

That's the story that our preacher told last Sunday.
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see.
He said: "Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an' the preacher;
"Who gave this Bible to my mamma,
"Who read it to me."

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, now I guess we know.
It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway.

For an 'Obamacon,' Communion Denied

An incredible article in the Washington Post about "Douglas Kmiec, a staunch Republican, firm foe of abortion and veteran of the Reagan Justice Department, [who] had been denied Communion."

Access the article here.

My quick take:

This is what you get when you have little people with a little power - the so-called little Napoleon wannabes - who don't think past their first step. The priest's actions, in my opinion, are completely out of line for so many reasons including: 1) Kmiec does not support Obama because of abortion; 2) Kmiec is staunchly against abortion; 3) the priest is clueless on Kmiec's relationship with God... and on and on. I almost want to say that priests like this dude ought to be excommunicated for being the antithesis of Christ's love. But, I won't advocate that.

Thankfully, though, people like this particularly priest are a minority in the Catholic Church. And, even more thankfully, there are priests who understand what it is like to be an individual outside of the confines of a church building.

As always, the Jayhawk's looking to hear your opinions, especially on this particular topic!

"The Same People"

Not sure if you saw this, but a reader posted the following article regarding the gay marriage topic: http://www.newsweek.com/id/139423. It's a quick read and one that's worth your 90 seconds.

"Do You Love the Job, or Just the Paycheck?"

An excellent article in the NYTimes about a topic that has been discussed on Jayhawk's Nest.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/01/jobs/01pre.html

"My sense of professional accomplishment was determined by the size of my bonus checks. I felt that my title and salary were all that I had to show for those long years of hard work, political maneuvering and Dilbertian despair.

"Like many of my co-workers, I thought I could eventually earn enough money to make up for the fact that I dreaded going to work every day. Then I would be happy, I told myself...

"But in fact, my high-paying but soul-draining job was beginning to take a toll on my personal life."

Oh so true, so true, so true, so true... and take away the 'high' from 'high-paying' and you begin to spell life with new letters: "m. i. s. e. r. y!"

Read the article and let me know what you think!

You're Gonna Miss This

A good reminder to those on the fast-track to nowhere...

You're Gonna Miss This

She was staring out the window of their SUV
Complaning, saying "I can't wait to turn 18"
She said "I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules"
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and saysAnd s "Baby, just slow down"

Cause you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

--Trace Adkins

A Dilemma

In a suburb of a big town near a big city in a big state in the Midwest, there lived two friends. Their names were Eks and Wye. As their friendship grew over the years, they began to love each other. A lot. So they decided to do what people who love each other do - get married.

Eks and Wye are Pozlots - that's the name of their religion. The Pozlots have a very sacred text called the Winkrut. On page seven, paragraph 3 of the Winkrut, it says: "Any two individuals who decide to commit to each other in a long-term relationship must get married....Furthermore, the couple can be man-man, woman-man, woman-woman, neuter-man, neuter-woman, neuter-neuter. Irrespective, the two must get the blessings of the deity and the yutlutz" (akin to a Catholic priest, Protestant minister, Hindu priest, Jewish rabbi, etc).

So, Eks and Wye went to the Pozlots' sacred house - called a Riszeim - and got married. It made them immensely happy. Two weeks ago, they decided to buy a house, together as a couple. So, they visited a Realtor and looked for houses. Last week, they found a house which they both loved and so they decided to buy it. In the process of completing the paper work and obtaining the mortgage, the bank asked Eks and Wye, "Is this is a tenancy by the entirety purchase?" Eks responded, "Well yes, of course! We're married!" So, as is standard procedure, the bank clerk asked for a formal marriage certificate issued by the US government to prove that the individuals were married for the purpose of property law.

The next day, Eks and Wye went to the county court to obtain a marriage license and the county clerk said to them, "Hi! Welcome to the United States' Most Accepting County Courthouse! How may I help you?" Eks proceeded to ask for a marriage license. He showed the Pozlot religious marriage license which they had received from the yutlutz as proof that vows were exchanged with Wye.

After a brief moment, the clerk said, "Don't mind me asking, but you two look alike. I mean, you know, you both don't look like either girls or boys. Sorry, but what's your gender? I need to write it down so that I know the groom and bride." Eks and Wye respond, in unison, "Well, we're neuter." Wye went on to explain, "We were castrated when we were five and now we're neuter."

So, should the clerk proceed with the process of issuing a marriage license or not?

The Chain of Love

What would an ideal world be like? Clay Walker answers in the following song:

The Chain Of Love

He was driving home one evening,
In his beat up Pontiac
When an old lady flagged him down,
Her Mercedes had a flat
He could see that she was frightened,
Standing out there in the snow
'Til he said I'm here to help you ma'am,
By the way my name is Joe

She said I'm from St. Louis,
And I'm only passing through
I must have seen a hundred cars go by,
This is awful nice of you
When he changed the tire,
And closed her trunk
And was about to drive away,
She said how much do I owe you
Here's what he had to say

You don't owe me a thing, I've been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I'm helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here's what you do
Don't let the chain of love end with you

Well a few miles down the road,
The lady saw a small cafe
She went in to grab a bite to eat,
And then be on her way
But she couldn't help but notice,
How the waitress smiled so sweet
And how she must've been eight months along,
And dead on her feet

And though she didn't know her story,
And she probably never will
When the waitress went to get her change,
From a hundred dollar bill
The lady slipped right out the door,
And on a napkin left a note
There were tears in the waitress's eyes,
When she read what she wrote

You don't owe me a thing,
I've been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I'm helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here's what you do
Don't let the chain of love end with you

That night when she got home from work,
The waitress climbed into bed
She was thinkin' about the money,
And what the lady's note had said
As her husband lay there sleeping,
She whispered soft and low
Everything's gonna be alright, I love you, Joe

Don't Worry

Written By Rebecca St. James and Matt Bronleewe

On the corner of Fifth and Broadway
I was walking to the grocery store on Third
I saw a man up on a box
He seemed a little unorthodox
He was preaching up a storm
As I walked on by he said

Don't worry about your life
Cause if you hold it too close
You'll lose it
Don't worry about your life
So won't you let go
Before it's gone

A little further on I saw a beggar on the street
He asked for change and then gives me his life story
Says he was a millionaire, made some bad decisions there
Now a dollar fifty could feed him for a week
And he said

Don't worry about your life
Cause if you hold it too close you lose it
Don't worry about your life
So won't you let go
Before it's gone

Then I see the birds
I watch them fly
They've got everything they need
They show me why I can be free
Knowing You will care for me

Finally at the grocery store
My mind is filled with many thoughts
As I bump into a girl I knew from high school
She said "What's different about you girl?"
And I smiled and said this is what I know is true
And I'll pass it right along to you

Don't worry about your life
Cause if you hold it too close you lose it
Don't worry about your life
So won't you let go before it's gone

Fed speech comparison

Taken from the Wall Street Journal.

Ducklings...

S&P 500 Forecast: 1170

Late last year, and again earlier this year, I stated - right here on Jayhawk's Nest - that we can expect the S&P 500 index to retrace to 1170. Some of you probably thought that I was delusional.

Well, today, David Kostin, the chief US investment guru for Goldman Sachs, said that he expects a "swath of lowered profit guidance," and as a result "the S&P index to reach 1,160" over the "near term."

Need another opinion?

Scott Anderson, chief economist at Wells Fargo, is equally pessimistic, describing the bullish views of some market players as "bordering on delusional".

You can find the full article here.

It's good to know someone, err... sometwo, agrees with me.

You've been warned.

Rock Chalk Champions!

Roy Forgiven!

Life Inc.: Purpose

I recently had another non-unique question: what exactly is the purpose of my life? We sometimes wander aimlessly, it seems, in an effort to get to a final mission in our lives. We take jobs, get involved in organizations, and participate in events - sometimes, not always - as a means to hopefully get to the end of our greater calling. "This internship will look good on my resume" or "That job would would be great resume candy," etc. We hope to meet someone who will channel us to the correct career path, in the hopes that we will land our dream job. Even within a specific professional career, we're constantly searching for the best and most perfect place for ourselves.

We may read every career self-help book, talk to industry and career experts, and even pray and still be at a loss of where exactly we fit into the grand jigsaw puzzle - career-wise and in life. And, often, not being able to find or see our individual purpose in the general scheme of life can be discouraging. We may begin to doubt our abilities, question the decisions we've made in the past (and even irrationally blame ourselves for them), and begin to simply lose hope of ever striking our 'mission.' It's a dangerous path.

Recently, I was presented with a very powerful image that helped me better - not fully - understand how to think of our purpose in life. Last Sunday, during mass, one of the altar helpers who carried the candle down the isle of the church had Down syndrome. It was incredible to see him walk down the isle very reverently, willingly, and with great purpose, serving a special role in the service.

Many people today write-off children (and adults) with Down syndrome as unproductive members of society. It is easy to do so since most people cannot relate to them. People with Down syndrome are often neglected and their goals in life are never discussed, but only assumed. Yet, this altar helper's actions served as a stark and important reminder that only God knows our grand mission in life. The altar server's presence and actions were vital to the overall service, and his purpose at that point in time served as a microscopic view of our daily purpose in life.

I don't know whether or not he fully comprehended the reasons behind his actions in the service. Similarly, we often do not know the reason(s) why we do what we do - in school, at work, or elsewhere. Instead, we simply continue our quest in hopes to search for our 'purpose in life.' Sometimes aimlessly, sometimes hopelessly.

But, the most important lesson I learned: don't write-off yourself. Our purpose, just like the altar helper's, is to serve God. He did it in a more literal sense: during mass in a church.

In our daily lives, we serve God through our quest to quench our mysterious yearning for a greater purpose - in our actions, our thoughts, and our intentions. In all of these, love is the primary ingredient. Much like the joy and the love that was exhibited by the altar helper while he held the candle, so must we hold our candles with sincere appreciation and love, no matter what the destination or the environment.

Hence, our purpose is indeed to love and to serve God.

Champion Jayhawks Party Videos

Video of crazy partying in Lawrence, Kansas here!!

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!

http://www2.ljworld.com/videos/sets/2008/apr/08/6news_championship_celebration/

ROCK CHALK CHAMPIONS!

CONGRATULATIONS

2008 NCAA BASKETBALL

CHAMPIONS!!

ROCK CHALK

JAYHAWK!!

PS: The last time KU won the championship (1988), the S&P 500 was up 8% for the year.

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK! GO KU!!

PS: Sorry, Roy.

It's time to pray again

Our Father, who art in Lawrence,
Hallowed by thy game.

Thy bracket come,
Thy upset will be done, in San Antonio as it is in Allen Field House.

Give us this day our deserved game,
and forgive us our turnovers,
as we forgive Roy who double-crossed against us.

And lead us not into defeat,
but deliver us from Roy tears.

For Kansas is the basketball kingdom,
And the tradition,
And the glory,
For ever and ever.

Amen!

Life Inc.: Suffering

On my way to work this morning, I had a strange but non-unique thought. Given the choice, would most people choose to live, i.e. be born and go through the whole life sha-bang? For most people, perhaps as many as 80% of people it seems, when looked at from a superficial standpoint, I think the answer is no. That's a rather depressing thought and statement - don't you think?

Most of the reasoning stems from the purpose behind our lives and the juxtaposition of suffering in the world that comes with it. When I think of the billlions of people who toil day and night (and in between) to simply make ends meet, the unquantifiable amount of poverty, disease, hunger, injustice... around the world, I start to wonder what really is the purpose of all this. And, then, on the opposite spectrum, we have private islands, pristine private beaches, personal attendants, private jets... you get the picture. It really sucks to suffer.

So, why bother with the whole life thing (if given a choice at the beginning)? What's the purpose of living anyway, and more importantly of suffering through all of it? It doesn't make the sufferer happy, it doesn't make those watching the suffering happy, it doesn't create any value - or does it? Are you actually doing a disservice by having kids? After all, they are prone to the same suffering existent today, aren't they?

It is impossible to answer why suffering exists to fully please every person with the question. Your guesses are as good as mine. Why did God create suffering? It's an extremely hard question, if not an impossible one, to answer. However, I think we can look at the meaning of love in order to find some solace and the beginnings of an answer.

When our hearts ache and our minds are numbed by all the suffering around us, we are melted and brought to our knees in an effort to love the victim of this suffering. For instance, when we see a family go through unimaginable trials e.g. a gruesome death of a loved child, we - almost instinctively - react with compassion. Whether we act on that instinct and do something about it is a different story altogether. But, for a split second, I think it is fair to say that there is an outpouring of love to those in need of it - at the very least in spirit. This love that emanates from us is a natural instinct that fills a void and a vacuum that lacks it or has just lost it. In this example, the family has lost a source (and receiver) of love.

It is probably fair to say that seeing others suffer brings out the sympathy, kindness, compassion, charity, and unselfishness that lies in the deep abyss of each one of us. In essence, all these 'feelings' are a derivative of love. Every one of us, regardless of talent, intelligence, race, religion, gender, family background, hair color, political leaning, wealth, title or health, has the ability and inclination to react to suffering in the ways described above, in some form or another. Furthermore, this 'love' is one for which we constantly thirst to give and to receive. To give a few examples: we want to have "meaningful careers", "create change in the world", "help others", "have a happy family", etc. In the case of watching suffering, we want to give love to others; when we suffer, we seek love from others.

Love, then, is a primary element that makes us human, as opposed to simply an object of existence or a "living thing." Suffering is the lack of love, internal or external. It exists to bring about the love that is intrinsic in each one of us and exists within us. Whether we exercise it or not is a matter of choice. It unifies people beyond any boundary imaginable - racial, religious, cultural, political, hobby-based, any one. Everyone of us no matter who we are or how cruel we are - today, in the past, or in the future - has the capacity to love and to receive love.

God is love. His first two commandments are: love Him, and love others. In order to appreciate Him and His love for us, suffering must exist. Without it, we are unable to love, or to receive love. And, as a result, we are unable to know God.

F'd on Facebook

Do you post your life on Facebook? You may want to think again. Recently, a computer techie was able crack into pictures posted on the site, but to which he had no legal access. The bug has since been fixed. However, there are generally more cockroaches in such cases and there's no reason to believe a second and much larger hack attempt won't be successfully disasterous to its victims.

For the entire article, click here.

Bernanke's Rhapsody?

SING TO THE TUNE OF 'BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY' BY QUEEN

Is this the real price?
Is this just fantasy?
Financial landslide
No escape from reality

Open your eyes
And look at your buys and see.
I'm now a poor boy (poor boy)
High-yielding casualty
Because I bought it high, watched it blow
Rating high, value low
Any way the Fed goes
Doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama - just killed my fund
Quoted CDO's instead
Pulled the trigger, now it's dead
Mama - I had just begun
These CDO's have blown it all away
Mama - oooh-hoo-ooo
I still wanna buy
I sometimes wish I'd never left Goldman at all.

(guitar solo)

~~~

I see a little silhouette of a Fed
Bernanke! Bernanke! Can you save the whole market?
Monolines and munis - very very frightening me!
Super senior, super senior
Super senior CDO - magnifico

I'm long of subprime, nobody loves me
He's long of subprime CDO fantasy
Spare the margin call you monstrous PB!
Easy come easy go, will you let me go?
Peloton! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Peloton! We will not let you go
(let him go !)
Peloton! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go
let me go (never) Never let you go - let me go Never let me go – ooo
No, no, no, no, No, NO, NO ! -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
S&P had the devil put aside
for me
For me, for me, for me

~~~

So you think you can fund me and spit in my eye?
And then margin call me and leave me to die Oh PB - can't do this to me
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
No price really matters
No liquidity
Nothing really matters - no price really matters to me
Any way the Fed goes.....

Penned by a Bear Stearns (BSC) guy.

It's Game Time

Are you ready for the show down?!

This says it all

"In an apparent foray into gallows humor, a $2 bill is pasted to the main entry of Bear Stearns' headquarters." - Marketwatch

The Mystery Man

Thanks for chiming in - a shout-out to Mel, Mo and Pat. Reno Ranger - please notice that you don't get a shout out because you didn't opine. You should next time.

So, who is this mystery man? Here are the possibilities:

1. A Bear Stearns shareholder watching his wealth plummet by the second, wait, there's no more to watch;

2. A Ralph Lauren model;

3. My alter ego;

4. A Barack Obama supporter listening intently to Jeremiah Wright's drivel - although he doesn't seem that aghast;

5. Ralph Nader's campaign adviser;

The truth: This picture was sent to me via email in a Ralph Lauren ad of some sort. I was so disturbed by the look on the dude's face, the seemingly complete lack of character, and the drab and boring background that I had to post it. Why on earth would I want to buy a Ralph Lauren suit if I'd look like him!? But then again, I didn't go to fashion school, don't live in NYC, and only hope to visit Milan some day... how would I know!

What does this make you think of?

What does this dude make you think of? Do you know the source of this picture? Do you know the dude?!

Looks cute, doesn't he?

Until he comes at you like this...

Still confused? May be this will help...

Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt

When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and the fire

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We'll rise above these earthly cares

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me...

Genius Dad Award

As many of you may know, I find much amusement in the financial markets. I generally share this enthusiasm with a few close friends and family. I'd like to give a shout-out to my father-in-law for two fantastic stock picks: DVN and CHK. These two have been on absolute fire since he mentioned them to me almost 3 years ago - up 70% and up 50% respectively, not counting any dividends during this time. You might think that he has mentioned many other companies that I have disregarded. But, in fact, no - these are the only ones. So, a 100% accuracy with an average return in excess of 60% in just under 3 years. Nice, very nice. My only regret: I never acted on his recommendations. But, the good news is that I'm waiting for the next one.

India - still a buy?

http://www.wisdomtree.com/bannerads/india/SA/ad1c.html

Christmas 2008: iToilet

Taken from here.

Are you an, er, investor?

"We believe that according the name ‘investors’ to institutions that trade actively is like calling someone who repeatedly engages in one-night stands a ‘romantic.’" --Warren Buffett

Mount Tabor vs Mount Calvary

As you can see, I didn't give up blogging for Lent. Today, our priest - Father Bill - preached a most excellent homily, drawing a parallel in Jesus' life that struck me as incredible.

Three disciples - Peter, James, and John - join Jesus on Mount Tabor where they experience the Transfiguration of Christ. Here, Jesus is clothed in an all-glowing and majestic white garment that reveals His true identity (God); He is surrounded by two of the most regarded Jewish 'fathers' - Moses and Elijah; and, God conspicuously tells the disciples "This is my beloved Son".

Let's contrast this to what happens soon after they descend and Jesus' suffering begins. His life ends on Mount Calvary. Here, His clothes are stripped away from Him; on the cross, Jesus is now surrounded by two criminals; and, His executioner says "Indeed this man was the Son of God."

Isn't that parallel amazing?! Clearly, I think so!

(Ironically, Peter denies knowing Jesus three times, even though he had been with Jesus during the Transfiguration.)

Where are you in this cycle?

A tale of two rates

Just an expansion to my response earlier. Most so-called frivolous spending that seems to be the topic of discussion within many circles is arguably the result of of easy credit and hence credit cards. Whether the Fed funds rate is 3%, 3.5%, or 5%, it will not affect how the American consumer spends on his/her credit card. Credit card rates have astronomical rates - 18%, 25%, 29% amongst other incredible numbers - and *that* in itself should be a deterrent to bad spending habits and debt.

The Fed funds rate is more of a response to stimulate business capital spending which in turn creates employment. I think it's fairly clear at this point that we have a weakening labor market.

Here's a perfect example of increasing credit card interest rates while the Fed funds rate is decreasing. So, this should give you some hope that Fed rate cuts fear do not automatically mean there will be an increase in frivolous spending!

The second Fed cut

Pat asks: "I'm curious what the Jayhawk thinks about the Fed's further 50 basis point reduction in the rate. Are we nearing the point of overcompensating? Will cheap cash encourage more irresponsible spending on the part of the American consumer? My vote for the Jayhawk presidency may depend on his answer!"

Given your last statement, I probably shouldn't say anything!

To answer your question directly, I do not believe the Fed's actions will necessarily "encourage more irresponsible spending on the part of the American consumer."

You can't choke the economy, allow high levels of unemployment, and kill economic growth in an effort to teach people how to save. That's like severing a kid's finger every time he or she makes a mistake!

Instead, we need to promote growth and simultaneously educate people on personal finance. Bernanke has blatantly spoken about the latter.

Looking at the ISM Services data point that came in today, we're in deep trouble already. The Fed's job now is to worry about economic growth before inflation. As far as the American consumer and spending goes, it can't be fixed overnight. Over time, though, I believe there are awareness efforts currently in place that will encourage more saving, including the housing correction.

Pat, I think you should hand out flyers at Farragut West that encourage people to save!

Money and Happiness: A response

A frequent and enthusiastic reader of Jayhawk's Nest, Pat, responds to a post earlier, so aptly titled "$$$ = :) ?":

"How many times must we be told that money does not equal happiness? I am thinking about an economic model in which households seek to maximize gratitude (as opposed to profit), because the link between a sense of gratitude and happiness is MUCH more robust than that between money and happiness.

Practical consequence of an economy that seeks to maximize gratitude as opposed to profit?: buying locally, especially from people you know. I am not anti-trade... I'm anti-anonymity. I am not pro-protectionism... I'm pro-personal transactions."

Pat - Great thoughts, as usual, and thanks for checking in.

Just a few minor points - it's firms that maximize profits, not households. Households, which are made up of individuals, are "utility" maximizers. Supposedly, utility would include money. And, if so, households would save money. Strangely, they generally have not.

However, I don't think the reason we have a negative savings rate is that people don't want to save. In fact, they believe they are saving when they invest in their homes and their 401(K)'s etc. Elaborate investment vehicles were not easily available 30 - 40 years ago, e.g. IRAs. The stock market was way too expensive for the average Joe, i.e. commissions were high and minimum requirements to stocks (or better put partnerships in companies) were astronomical. Competition and technology has changed that over the past decade or so, and for the better. The only problem is that education has lagged. People do not realize that their investments are not a ticket to purchase the world.

I think the issue is that we went too far with credit and have hit extremes. The availability of credit anonymously had never been experienced before and it's likely that we - as a society - simply went too far using it, and profit-maximizing firms went too far issuing it. The intent was not criminal, but the consequences seem to be that way. It's simply a process or learning a new way of thinking, i.e. how to effectively use credit. I believe we're now in the process of correcting back to equilibrium.

The problem is that money does matter when it comes to making people happy. (See this study by Firebaugh and Tach.) However, the correlation between money and happiness is not linear, but rather it has diminishing marginal returns. After so much dough, you have enough. The question is: what's the threshold? And that is the problem. At some point, one has to say enough is enough. For most people, though, it's a hard thing to do since we're naturally inclined towards greed.

So, where does that leave us? I believe that the current system is fine. It's impossible to measure gratitude or utility. As a society, we need to educate people, especially the youth, about credit. It is *not* free money. Instead, it's simply a means of convenience. I see personal credit as a substitute for cash. I'd rather carry one credit card than cash. In this way, I can track expenses, not worry about emergency funds on the road, etc, etc.

I'm not convinced about buying local, etc. I'll refer you to Ricardo's competitive advantage argument. I'll buy from the moon if it's cheaper and my goal is to maximize savings. I don't see any reason to buy from the local dude if Wal-Mart has the same item for half the price (which it generally does).

In relation to the article I initially posted, I think my take-away is this: forget the past (after seeking forgiveness of course!), don't worry too much about the future, and make the most of the present for it is a gift!

Suzi Orman says it best: people first, then money, then things.

Dollar slide over?

There are some out there who think Bernanke's rate cuts were a dumb decision because it hurts the dollar. So to my cassandras of dollar doom and gloom, I present the following article. You may want drum rolls.

From Bloomberg.com: "Ben S. Bernanke's decision to lower interest rates 1.25 percentage points last month will end the dollar's two-year slide, according to the world's biggest currency traders."

Read more here.

Incredible Giant WIN!

WHOA! AMAZING! WHAT?! DID THEY WIN? THE PATRIOTS LOST?!!

WOW!

I'm stunned. By far the best Super Bowl game I've watched, ever. Go Manning brothers!

Now, what does this mean for you and me? It means invest your money in the S&P index fund and there's a good probability you'll make the big bucks by the end of the year. And perhaps at the end of the year, we'll have another wow - a wow year. Perhaps the Super Bowl was just a glimpse of the volatility and final outcome we can expect for stock returns in 2008.

Congratulations NY Giants!

By the way, Belichick is class-less and deserves to lose. Did you see him run away when the game was not even officially over? How lame!

Why the Giants should win

* The above statistics are courtesy of Bespoke Investment Group

Looking for Dividends?

Multiplying Dividends

COMPANY	TICKER	MARKET VALUE	SECTOR	DIVIDEND YIELD	10-YEAR DIV GRTH RATE	2008 EPS GROWTH
Buckeye Partners	BPL	$2 billion	Energy	7.10%	5.84%	9%
Enterprise Products	EPD	$13.1 billion	Energy	6.60%	7.16%	39%
Kinder Morgan Energy	KMP	$13.5 billion	Energy	6.60%	7.09%	138%
Pfizer	PFE	$155.4 billion	Health Care	5.80%	17.43%	6%
Integrys Energy Group	TEG	$3.8 billion	Utilities	5.50%	4.11%	50%
Bank of Montreal	BMO	$27.9 billion	Financials	4.90%	16.96%	11%*
Nstar	NST	$3.5 billion	Utilities	4.40%	5.32%	6%
UST	UST	$8.5 billion	Consumer Staples	4.30%	4.01%	7%
Royal Bank of Canada	RY	$64 billion	Financials	4.10%	19.35%	19%*
Bank of Nova Scotia	BNS	$47 billion	Financials	4.30%	17.12%	18%*
Huaneng Power (ADR)	HNP	$10.2 billion	Utilities	4.10%	9.89%	14%
Paychex	PAYX	$12 billion	Technology	3.70%	23.30%	12%**
Genuine Parts	GPC	$6.8 billion	Consumer Discretionary	3.60%	4.97%	9%
Taubman Centers	TCO	$2.6 billion	Financials	3.60%	10.17%	8%
Toronto-Dominion Bank	TD	$47.9 billion	Financials	3.60%	14.75%	17%*
General Electric	GE	$346.4 billion	Conglomerate	3.60%	10.89%	13%
Eli Lilly	LLY	$58.9 billion	Health Care	3.60%	6.74%	10%

*Taken from Barron's.